Naoki's diary
by Akihime93
Summary: The key to anyone's feelings; their diary. Even Naoki seems to have one. When a fight turns out in the question "Why do you love me!", it ends up with Kotoko staying with her friend Chris. As an answer she receives Naoki's diary.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my next story, the idea of this story popped up out of the nowhere, so I wanted to write it down as fast as I could so I wouldn't forget it. I'll upload only the first chapters since I'm not done yet**.

**Can anyone imagine Naoki writing a diary? I actually couldn't, but I tried my best to make it as realistic as I could. A few chapters later when the diary is read, I took the year the Anime was published as the year of the first episode, when Kotoko moved in with Naoki. So 2008 is the start of everything :3 I hope that's understandable. **

**Also I took some sentences literally from the Anime itself, but that comes later :]  
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**Well, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing this ^_^**

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**[This is the sequel to "World on fire", it's not very needed but it's always easier if you read it first.]  
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*Atchoo!* Kotoko sneezed. She was cleaning their room, while her husband was downstairs reading the newspaper. "Kotoko-chan, are you sure you want to do this yourself? And be careful, don't forget that you're bearing a child!" Mrs. Irie said with a worried look. "Don't worry, I can do this!" Kotoko answered with a wide smile. She felt her tummy. It wasn't getting much bigger yet. But she could notice that her curves were getting rounder, and… her breasts were growing. 'Well, they hurt a little when you touch them so that means they're growing right?' She thought to herself.

It was Sunday afternoon, so Kotoko had all the time to do what she wanted. Tomoko, Marina and Motoki had explained her that a pregnant woman sometimes had very strange needs, but they seemed normal for the woman herself.

Well, cleaning up wasn't the least bit of strange at all, was it? Except that Kotoko always hated cleaning up and was very grateful that mrs. Irie always cleaned their room. But now she had the urgent need to clean up the room herself!

She was now dusting their bookcase. She actually realized just now how big it was. Actually she never really looked in their bookcase. She always kept her study books anywhere but in the bookcase where they belonged, and she didn't read very often, and when she did read her book was just like her study books, not in the bookcase. Heh. Now she's thinking about it, her study books wouldn't even have fitted there, since there almost wasn't any room left!

She hummed happily as she pulled out every single book, just to dust the shelf, and then put the books back in. All kinds of books. Old study books, boring history books, English books, a few very old manga's (she was surprised to find those here), and… "Hmm what's this?" Kotoko looked at the book in her hand which had been hidden behind all the other books. It could also have fallen there or something, but Kotoko thought to herself that it was hidden. It was all covered in dust, and she coughed a few times when she blew it off. There was a lock on it, and it exactly looked like…

"Kotoko, just _what_ are you doing this time?" Kotoko looked behind her and saw Naoki at the door. "Ahem…" She looked around; the entire floor was covered with books. "Cleaning" She said with an innocent smile, and Naoki had to suppress a laugh.

"Hey, Irie-kun, is this _your_ diary?" Kotoko asked, holding the book up so he could see it. There was a moment of silence. "…" Kotoko blinked innocently and looked at the book in her hand. Then suddenly Naoki grasped it out of her hand. "Never thought you would find it. But this isn't something I share with other people" Naoki said with a nonchalant sniff. "Not even with your precious wife?" Kotoko asked with puppy eyes. "Nope" Naoki turned away, but was suddenly grabbed from behind; Kotoko had wrapped one arm around his middle and reached for the diary with her other. "I wanna read it!" She complained. "Nope" Naoki said calmly, holding the diary away from her.

"Please let me! I- owww…" Kotoko suddenly moaned, and she slowly lowered and then collapsed on her knees. She hugged her stomach tightly and breathed heavily. "Kotoko!" Naoki kneeled down and grabbed her by her shoulder. "Does your stomach hurt? What's wrong?" Kotoko fell silent for a moment. And then she snatched the book out of his hand, got up and backed away from him. "Hah! Fooled you!" She said with an evil smile, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

The cute about her was, she always looked innocent. Even when acting like this. "You little…" Naoki couldn't help but smile. She really got him there. But still, he wished he had said that book wasn't his. Telling her that now wouldn't help, she knew him too well.

"Give that back!" "Nope!" Kotoko quickly ran around the bed, but was soon cornered. So she held the book behind her and leaned against the wall. "Geez, you're asking for it aren't you?" Naoki asked, raising one eyebrow as he approached her. "For what?" Kotoko asked innocently. "For this of course!" Kotoko could have expected it but she actually hadn't. Naoki's hands shot towards her sides and he started tickling her viciously.

"EEeeekk!" Kotoko moved down, trying to avoid his fingers, but like always, it didn't work. Since her husband discovered her weakness when they were on a trip together, he used it quite often against her. Sometimes just to have fun himself, sometimes just to make her laugh, but also other times to threaten her or for things like these. Veeery annoying! "Heehee n-no stop it! Hehe you're hahaha sooo-meaan!" Kotoko giggled hysterically, patting his hands away and covering herself up with one arm. Naoki grabbed her wrist and tickled her ribs mercilessly with his other hand.

Now Kotoko had no other choice but to use the hand that was holding the book. But just when Naoki wanted to take the book from her, she gave him a hard push and jumped away from between him and the wall. But Naoki caught her by her middle and they fell on bed together.

_[Downstairs] _

"What... is... that..." Yuuki mumbled, as he listened to the disturbing sounds coming from upstairs. "I guess that's Kotoko laughing, hehe how cute" Mrs. Irie giggled. "They're at it again" Yuuki smirked and he rolled his eyes. Never had he expected his brother to do these kinds of things. And every time when it happened again, it surprised him over and over.

After a few minutes of wrestling and tickling, Naoki finally sat up straight, without the book. "You know. You can keep it. Because it's useless to you without the key" Naoki tried to act smart, but he actually realized just now.

"W-what?!" Kotoko squeaked, still out of breath. "It seems that I tickled you for nothing. The key must be somewhere too, should I tell you where? No I don't think so…" Naoki said teasingly as he got up from the bed. "Moohhh Irie-kun, you're so mean!". "And don't you dare cut or break it open, I got that book from my grandfather and it's very precious" Naoki said, still with that teasing tone in his voice. Kotoko pouted. "Pfuh! You're not nice at all" Kotoko said grumpily, but quickly changed attitude when her husband bent over her. "Don't make me tickle you again" He said teasingly.

Kotoko quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, and was very relieved when he kissed her back. 'Heehee' she thought. 'That's how the brilliant Kotoko puts the word 'tickling' out of his mind!'.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Kotoko, how are you doing?" Kotoko looked behind her and saw Marina and Tomoko approaching her. "Yeah, how's the baby?" Tomoko asked. "I guess it's fine" Kotoko answered. Motoki joined the conversation. "I would love to bear a child inside of me" He/she said dreamily. "Really? But you ca-" Marina cut Kotoko off by holding her index finger at her lips with a "shhh!". That's right, Motoki wanted to be treated like a woman.

"Hey I told you guys about my friend who's also pregnant didn't I?" Marina asked, and the others nodded. "Well, it seemed that her husband was having an affair with his co-worker! Isn't that horrible?!"

"Ohhh!" Everyone said with surprised looks. "I heard that happens a lot during pregnancy" Tomoko said. "R-r-really?" Kotoko asked, feeling a little uneasy. "Yeah its horrible. They should be treating their wives the kindest during those times" Tomoko added with a sigh. "But, isn't it also suspicious if they act too kind? They should be hiding something then" Motoki said. "That's true. They become abnormally kind when they're having affairs" Marina agreed. "And the worst is that they choose for the young girls. Plain looking women without make-up and already used up, they just go looking for a new one" Marina said with a dramatic sigh.

They all noticed that Kotoko was shivering a little, with an unpleasant look on her face. "Oh but Kotoko you shouldn't worry!" They suddenly all said, quickly patting her shoulders and feeling very guilty about saying these things right in front of her. "Don't worry about it, but be sure you have your eyes on him" Marina said, giving Kotoko a quick hug. "Yeah Kotoko, don't worry" Tomoko said with a warm smile.

Kotoko sighed as she walked through the hospital, ready to pick up her husband. Actually her friends' words were still ringing inside her head. She shook her head quickly. She should trust her husband, Naoki would never have an affair. Never…

But yesterday he didn't get angry when she stole his diary from him (of which she still hadn't found the damn key!). Or he was just in a good mood… but would he usually get angry? She actually didn't know… didn't she really know that about him? Well people weren't always predictable.. but still, he's her husband… She opened the door and just when she wanted to call for Naoki she saw something she wished she wouldn't see. Naoki had his arms around the young nurse Sakura! And not only that… he was _laughing_!

"Irie-sensei, Nishigaki-sensei, the patient is alright, so I guess we're done for today", here " "Ah Sakura-chan, thank you" Naoki took some papers from the young nurse and smiled at her. "Well then, enjoy your daaa-" While walking away Sakura tripped over a case standing in the way, and fell down. "Look out!" Naoki reached and managed just in time to catch her.

"Oof! That was close! Thanks Irie-sensei" Sakura thanked him gratefully. "No problem, I couldn't just let you fall down, could I?" They laughed together, but flipped their heads when they heard a gasp. Kotoko was standing at the door, watching them with big eyes.

"I-Irie-kun.. what…" She mumbled. Sakura noticed that Naoki had still his arms around her, so she quickly pulled away and blushed. "N-no Kotoko-san! This is just…" Kotoko clenched her fist. Her friends were right. They were absolutely right! Why would a handsome man like Naoki stay with a simple, used up woman like her? Tears were forming in her eyes, and even with closed eyes she could still see the image of Naoki with the young girl.

"K-Kotoko? What's wrong? This is nothing!" Naoki said with raised eyebrows. "LIAR!" Kotoko suddenly screamed, causing Naoki to gasp in shock. "Don't lie to me! You could have just said it that you had enough of me! But don't deceive me!" She screamed with tears in her eyes. "Kotoko I have no idea what you're talking about, it's a misunderstanding!" Naoki put a comforting hand on Kotoko's shoulder, but she shook it off and looked at him. "No I don't believe you! Stop being so nice to me!" "Kotoko, you're the only one I love, I swear!" Naoki said with a lump in his throat. He didn't tell he loved her very often in public.

"Then WHY?! Naoki? _Why_ do you love me?! Just tell me and I'll believe you!" Kotoko suddenly spat at him, causing Naoki to gasp again. Both because she called him 'Naoki', and because of that question. He could never use the right words to answer that. Actually... she never asked it directly like this before. When he said he loved her, she would always believe t right away, answering that she loved him too and how happy she was with a husband like him.

Kotoko eyed her husband. He was standing right in front of her, speechless. "See…" Kotoko said softly, and she bowed her head so that Naoki couldn't see her eyes. "Kotoko, you're pregnant.. you're not feeling well" Naoki said, trying to calm her down. She slowly raised her head, and Naoki could see the sadness and anger in her eyes. "No it's NOT that! I'm serious Naoki! You can't even answer the simple question.. why do you love me…" Kotoko's lips trembled as she looked up at her husband.

"I… I-" Naoki couldn't bring out any words. "Never mind, I've had enough" And with that Kotoko turned and left the room, leaving Naoki behind all frozen. "Well, that's pregnancy for you!" Nishigaki said with a dry smile, patting Naoki's shoulder. This earned him a glare from the upset doctor. Nishigaki and Sakura were still in the same room and actually witnessed the whole scene.

"A real man chases his wife at moments like these. Wraps his arms around her, tells her how much she means to him. Tells her every little reason why. And you? You do nothing. You're bad at these kinds of things aren't you?" Naoki looked at Nishigaki and didn't feel annoyed with his speech. He knew he was right. "I-Irie-sensei, I'm sorry…" Sakura apologized, feeling very guilty because of this. "It's not your fault" Naoki said bluntly, and he grabbed his stuff and left.


	3. Chapter 3

"Kotoko, here, you should really eat something" Chris handed her friend the plate, but Kotoko sighed and shook her head. After she had fallen out like that to her husband, she had called home to tell them she would be staying with Chris.

"I'm sorry Chris, I keep bothering you… but I just can't go home now, I can't" Kotoko said, but Chris hugged her. "Of course you're not bothering me! But… are you sure Naoki is having an affair?" Chris asked. "H-he said it was a misunderstanding… But I didn't believe him…" Kotoko said, actually feeling a little bit guilty. "Hmm well maybe you should…" Chris said. "But!" Kotoko suddenly said. "When I asked him why he loved me, he didn't know an answer on that. Is that right if you're in love?" Kotoko asked, raising her voice. "What really? No it isn't… but you know he doesn't express his feelings a lot, it seems to be something hard for him" Chris said. "Yeah I know… but sti-"

"-Oh that's the door, I guess it's your husband to pick you up" Chris said, getting up to open the door. "Please tell him I don't want to see him" Kotoko said with a sigh. Never thought she would say something like this.

"Ah Naoki, good evening" Chris greeted him. "I heard Kotoko was here" Naoki said. "Eh yeah that's true, but…" "I'm not here to pick her up… I knew she wouldn't want to come with me…" Actually Chris felt a little sorry for him, seeing him like this at her door.

"But…" Naoki continued. "I'd like her to have this… please give it to her" He handed Chris a bag, and then made a small bow. "Thanks for taking care of her, and… please tell her to come home soon" Naoki turned and walked away. "Goodbye" Chris said softly, and she closed the door.

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"This is…" Kotoko's eyes widened with surprise as she took Naoki's diary out of the bag. With the key… There was a small note on the diary "What's that?" Asked Chris as Kotoko took the note and read it:

"_I hope this tells you enough. _

_ Naoki_

_P.S. I love you"_

With a lump in her throat Kotoko handed the note to Chris, and took the diary and put the key in the lock. What would be in there? She couldn't imagine Naoki writing a diary. Maybe they were just a few words.. or… Kotoko's eyes widened in shock as she was leafing through the book. Pages and pages full with letters, all Naoki's handwriting. "H-he wrote this much?!" Chris looked over Kotoko's shoulder and gasped. "Woah, that really is a lot!" Then the sound of the door was heard, following by Kinnosuke's voice. "I'm home!" "Oh Kinnosuke! You're early! Kotoko, read this calmly yourself, come ask us if you need something okay?" She gave Kotoko a quick kiss on her cheek and ran off towards her husband.

Kotoko felt her heart beat faster as she went back to the first page.

_12-09-2006_

That's when he started writing his first page… He should have been around fifteen years old then. She continued reading..

_I don't know why I'm doing this. Probably because I'm bored like hell. Anyway I got this diary from my grandpa today when we visited him. I'm probably not going to use it a lot. _

_Naoki_

Kotoko couldn't help but smirk at the few words he had written the first time. That's so typical Naoki. She could imagine the fifteen-year-old Naoki writing these few words with a troubled look on his face. But… she again leafed through the book. It was sure full…

_14-03-2007_ ('So he _really_ didn't write much in it…' Kotoko thought, since that was already six months later)

_A few girls from school gathered the courage to confess their love to me and give me their chocolate. I rejected them all. Watanabe told me I was being too harsh on them, but I just don't like sweets. What's wrong about that? Writing this is troublesome. _

_Naoki_

Again Kotoko had to hold in a laugh. Sixteen year old Naoki writing this in his diary, he really should've been bored, doing something like this.

_23-10-2007 _

_Mother wants me to use this more. I have no idea what to write about. Watanabe thinks I need to find a girlfriend. Love is troublesome. _(**AN: No he's not Shikamaru! XD**)

_Girls like me because of my looks, and my talent. It's really annoying._

_Naoki_

This didn't look at all like it was coming from a genius with an IQ of 200.

And that was all in one page… of the many… Kotoko thought, again leafing through the book. She turned over the page, and felt a weird feeling in her stomach. The next pages Naoki stopped mentioning the dates.

But right somewhere in the middle of the second page, she caught a glimpse of her name. She knew which date that was, the day she confessed to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: And here the next chapter! I actually wish I _never _started on this, this is so hard to write! =.= I have to skip through every episode to see what happened, think of what naoki would have felt or thought that time, and try not to get monotonous. (And yes I base this story on the Anime, not on the drama or the manga! Those are different). **

**I'm trying my best to make it enjoyable to read, but that's not easy either. If you don't feel like going back into time with Naoki, just wait for the last chapters where we continue with the present, and where I'll get poor Naoki and little pregnant oversensitive Kotoko reunited ^_^**

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_Today sure was interesting. Let's see, there's an annoying girl, full of energy and totally dumb, living right here across the hall. Yeah, wonder why huh? Let's start from the beginning. Yesterday a girl confessed to me. What hasn't happened very often anymore since I turned all the girls down on Valentine's Day. In fact, she tried to give me her love letter. I refused right away, I mean, I have no need for such stupid things. Besides, she's from class F. Haha. Makes me laugh._

Kotoko's eye twitched a little. He even wrote like this about her in his _diary_. Anyway, read on read on. Reading about Naoki's feelings and thoughts was quite interesting.

_Anyway, today I came to school, there was some fuss in front of our school building. And guess what. That same stupid girl who confessed to me, it seems that her house collapsed because of the level-2 earthquake from last night. _

_"Disaster fund-raiser of love for Aihara-san, whose house was lost in the earthquake." Ridiculous! On top of that, they yelled at me. A stupid fool, who was called "Kin-chan", was seriously blaming __me__ for the disaster! _

_For a change, I tried to be a little nice to them, so I handed some money. But the girl slapped it right out of my hand, and started yelling at me. Geez, what in the world is wrong with them? It has been a while since I laughed that much in one day. But that's not all. It seems that her father is old friends with mine. So well, the most unlikely happened to me. (That's why I'm writing today, I felt like I had to write this down). _

_My father's friend, her father, moved in here together with __her__. Oh yeah her name seems to be Aihara Kotoko. The class F girl couldn't even understand Yuuki's homework, how in the world is that possible for a high school student?! And also, she's sleeping in Yuuki's room. And mother is as pleased as a Punch, she's always wanted a girl. So yeah, Yuuki's sleeping in my room now. And he asks if I want to turn the light off, so well that's all for today. _

_Naoki_

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_I have never been so worked up before. This girl is unbelievable. A class F student on the top 50 board of the midterms, how is that possible? With help from me of course. And how is __that__ possible?! I'll explain about the previous days, since I've been studying every day from afternoon till night with her, so I had no chance to write this. _

_But how it all started… _

_My mother had probably accidentally, or maybe not… anyway, my mother put my lunchbox in Aihara's bag, and her lunchbox in mine. So well, as if it wasn't awful enough that I had to go to her stupid Class F, call her out to a place where no single person was, and exchange our boxes. _

_Then, it seemed that my horrible mother showed her pictures of me when I was young… And well you know what I looked like, I don't even want to write it down. Anyway, she even gave her one! She suddenly started threatening, that if I didn't help tutor her to get on the top 50 board, she would mass-mail the picture through whole the school. Well it was the one or the other. Despite my thoughts that it would be impossible for a Class F student to get on the board, I agreed to help her. _

_She's stupid, she's clumsy, she knows nothing, but she's determined, she works hard and she tries her hardest. She's earned a little more respect from me. Besides, I have actually the idea that she makes me feel more alive. I laugh at her, I yell at her, I lose control when my mother tells us we should marry, and I have someone who I can really bully. I guess things are going to be interesting now._

_Naoki_

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He felt like that about her this early. "Life is interesting with you around" was what he told her once. But that he thought about it this early. Kotoko felt herself getting more and more curious, and she quickly turned over the page.

_Man, the previous days were really tiring. It has been found out that I live together with Aihara, and now the entire school knows about it. Great! But… I don't know, but I have the feeling things are changing. I already wrote that she makes me feel more alive, but I actually am starting to __enjoy__ her presence. _

_One evening when I entered her room to tell her it was her turn to shower, she was sleeping on her bed… Just lying on top of it, without blankets, still with her clothes on, and I could see that she had cried. To be honest (this, my diary is the only place where I'll ever be honest) she looked pretty cute. Next to her was the letter addressed to me, which I had refused to take. On impulse I decided to read the letter. It wasn't a poem, or a slimy confession. It was a simple letter in which she introduced herself, mentioned that she had always admired me, and the simple "I love you". _

_And well, then the sports festival came. Class F was acting stupid like ever, but this time there was a person in there I knew. Also because of her my whole family came to look at us, standing with a huge idiotic sign with our names on it. How embarrassing. Anyway Aihara took part in the borrowing race. With the note she came actually dashing off to the place where I was sitting with the family, and she started stuttering with a huge blush on her face. For a moment I thought she needed me to go with her, but she actually asked my father! I actually had no idea of what was going on. Weird girl._

Kotoko sure could remember that, it was really embarrassing. But did he really have no idea? That means he was glaring at her for nothing, teehee. Those were hard times.

_After she got last in the race, she had lunch with us. And when mother asked what she was supposed to borrow, and my father mentioned "the person you love" I finally understood. My father maybe didn't realize it, but I think he was absolutely right. You could see it from the blush and the troubled look on her face. _

_After that we both took part in the mixed relay. Thanks to her I was going to use my full power in this race. We had a little discussion, and it turned out like this. I had to show her my abilities, otherwise she would make me out for a sore loser. Well no problem for me. But her class would lose. _

_She herself completely messed up. Instead of running towards that idiot 'Kin-chan', she ran towards me! I guess I was in the middle of one of her daydreams, since she spread her arms and wanted to run into my arms like that. I was actually kind of speechless, and the only I managed to say was "Go away" before I dodged her. And because of that she fell down on that Kinnosuke. Served her right! When it was my turn, I ran as hard as I could, and overtook the other classes. I reached the finish, but then… right after the finish line was Aihara lying on the ground! I hadn't seen her on time, she was there in a flash, so I fell right on top of her. And she really was hurt too, unbelievable. _

_I felt like I was responsible for this, so I lifted her up and carried her on my back towards the nurse office, despite the whole crowd looking at us. Her body was petite and warm, and she wasn't heavy at all. I hope she didn't notice, but her face was so close to mine, that when she talked I could feel her breath, what actually made my heart beat faster. I couldn't help it, but never had a girl been this close to me._

_After the sports events we went home. And sometimes I can really hate grownups. They recorded everything that day, including me carrying Aihara to the nurse office. How embarrassing, and they were watching it over and over. But then some things happened, of which I'm still confused myself right now. Of course because of my mother again. She asked me if Aihara wasn't my type, and I said 'no' of course. On which Aihara answered that I wasn't her type as well. That, she shouldn't have said that. _

_Not wanting to lose my pride, I really wanted everyone to know about her passionate feelings for me. So there I started, saying out loud the love letter I read and remembered. But the way she reacted wasn't what I expected. With tears in her eyes, she slapped me right in my face! And not a silly little slap, it was a really serious and hard one. It actually hurt. I was really shocked. _

_We started to yell at each other, but it was different than usual. I actually don't feel them very often, but I felt myself get filled up with emotions. I was really angry and confused. _

_But we were interrupted by stupid Kinnosuke. He came barging in to tell everyone how he loved Aihara and how I hated her. And before I knew it, the words slipped actually right out of my mouth. The way how I really felt. I said that a person may hate someone the one day, but can get to love her the next day. _

_I guess I said that because of the situation, I can't stand Kinnosuke, and I love teasing him, he's just so stupid. But I was actually satisfied with my words, and acted as arrogant as I could. Well that worked, Kinnosuke totally freaked out. Well that's it for now, let's see what tomorrow will bring me. _

_Naoki_

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__

It felt really strange to read all this. As if Kotoko was going back in time. The little things of which she had forgotten were all written in here. And plus, Naoki was really honest in his diary, writing exactly what he felt in those situations. She only wanted to read more, and greedily she turned over the page.


	5. Chapter 5

_It's summer break already and I've almost gotten used to Aihara's presence. She's lived here now for about four months, and almost every day was an adventure. I even haven't had the time to write things down. The last days were pretty interesting. Yuuki asked me to go to the pool with him, well he said that mother had said that if I went along, he could go. So I went with him. _

_Coming there, we found out that Aihara and her friends were there as well. So I immediately understood why my mother wanted me to go so badly. Aihara was wearing her school swimsuit. Not really appealing but I have to admit that a ponytail looks pretty good on her. Anyway, when I went to get some ice cream for Yuuki, it seemed that he went into the deep pool and almost drowned. I couldn't believe it, he was saved by Aihara and her friends. I felt really relieved and grateful, but didn't go towards them. After that Yuuki ran off, probably embarrassed because he was saved by them, and Aihara followed him. _

_After they probably talked a little, Yuuki went to ride the waterslide with Aihara and her friends. He really seemed to have fun. But when Aihara was sliding down, her leg cramped, and she nearly drowned herself. What a klutz! _

_So actually without even thinking I jumped after her and saved her. I helped her get out and gave her foot a little massage. This was my way for thanking her for saving my brother. When I massaged her she was really quiet, and very shy. I'm starting to get more positive feelings towards her, not that I'll ever admit that for real. _

_One evening we were home alone. I guess on purpose, since it looked like my mother had planned to leave me and Aihara alone together. Aihara's cooking was a failure, so I cooked dinner for us and we ate together. It felt rather awkward. She tried to start a conversation, but I didn't really feel like it. After dinner we both went to our own room, and I went to sleep. Until I was awakened by a disturbing sound of a certain person bumping her toe against the bureau. _

_It seemed that she had come in to steal my textbook, probably to copy the homework. So just when she wanted to leave with it, I grabbed a hold of her wrist and asked what she was doing. She dropped the book and the torch as well. She looked so vulnerable and innocent, standing there at my bed with her hands up and a big blush on her face. So on impulse I decided to fool her. I reached over, grabbed her wrist and threw her on my bed, and pretended that I wanted to force myself on her. That was actually very mean now I think back of it. _

_The poor girl started rattling on about having a wholesome relationship before doing things like these. Now that was funny. I laughed out loud and said that I didn't intend to date her at all. After a few seconds of silence the dumbass finally realized that I was teasing her. _

Dumb…ass…. Kotoko thought with a twitching eyebrow. But she actually noticed that all he wrote about was her. Even if it wasn't positive, he took the time to write all this about her. She giggled against her will. "Kotoko, are you alright? Want something to drink?" "Ah no thanks, Chris, I'm fine!" "Okay then, don't hesitate calling me if you need anything" Chris said with a gentle smile, and she left again.

_When she left my room grumpily I told her that I would want to let her borrow my textbook to apologize for scaring her, but the door had already closed. Too bad has she heard that last sentence, so she came back and asked me too if I wanted to help her copy the homework. Honestly, but well it was kind of funny. Better than doing nothing at all on my own. The final exams are coming up, I'm wondering how she'll do. Yuuki wants to sleep, so I'll stop writing now._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Every time I think things can't get more absurd, I'm proven wrong. They can. Well, I already wrote that the final exams are coming up. Well it started off yesterday, with Kotoko studying together with her friends at our place. And they didn't understand any question at all. It turned out in me solving all the questions for them! And not because I'm a 'genius', but those questions really weren't hard at all. _

_And well, I thought that was all. BUT… today, when I came home, she wasn't there with her two friends. But with the complete Class F! I started yelling at Kotoko, and she started stuttering like she mostly does when I yell at her. _

_Oh, recently I started to call her by her first name and I'm already used to it. I don't know why actually, probably because even Yuuki calls her Kotoko, so well. Why wouldn't I. Anyway, the whole class started begging me to tutor them, and Kotoko as well. So actually I didn't have a choice. I helped them study every – single – subject. I was completely worn out after that. Later that evening she came towards me, and handed me a drink. Now I think about it, I just took it from her without even thanking her. Well, that's me._

_After a few minutes of talking, and me asking why she wanted to go to college that badly, I blurted out that I was kind of jealous of her. It's the truth, but it's not what I actually wanted to say. So afraid that I might tell more about my true feelings, I went back inside. But it´s true. She´s so determined, she tries so hard and still can´t do it. Well, Christmas is coming, I´m what surprises will be waiting for me this time… _

_Naoki_

* * *

_Actually I'm surprised, and not surprised at the same time. I'm surprised that someone like Kotoko seriously made it into college. But also, with that determination of her, and with the help from me, it wasn't that I wasn't totally shocked when she told me she made it. Thanks to me the entire Class F did well on their finals, except Kinnosuke. Hahaha. _

_Only a few days left till Christmas, and Kotoko hasn't been much at home lately. I was wondering what she was up to actually, until today. When I was taking a walk with Watanabe, we passed Yoshimatu, and guess who's working there. KOTOKO. I couldn´t believe it. I glared at her, but deep inside there was a very little feeling of joy. She looked very funny in that uniform. _

_Watanabe still calls her 'the girl who dared to confess to me', and today he said that he actually thought she was kind of cute. In a strange way, he added when I glared at him. I don't know why but I get annoyed when I see guys who like Kotoko. But I hear the door, it seems Kotoko is at home and there´s coming a lot of noise from downstairs. I guess I´ll go look what´s going on there. That´s all for today._

_Naoki_

* * *

Watanabe huh? Kotoko couldn't help but blush a little. She always thought Watanabe was a nice guy, but she had no idea that he thought she was 'kind of cute'. Heehee, maybe Naoki liked her already then, since he got jealous. How funny.

He wouldn't have noticed it was jealousy, but still. Kotoko giggled and put the diary on a nightstand. She'll read the rest the next day. She got up and went to where Chris and Kinnosuke were. Naoki should wait just a little longer.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Here the next part :)**

**In the Anime a lot of time passes by. So I use the things that happen in the Anime to write this, but I also make some things up myself. So if you read something that you don't remember, don't ask which episode it comes from, because then it's something I made up myself :3 It's still a fanfiction!**

**Now off to start on the next one, please have patience :/**

* * *

****

Kotoko woke up in the spare room at Chris' house. She had breakfast with Chris together since Kinnosuke was already at work. Owning a restaurant is very busy, and Kotoko was proud of him he made it so far, since he didn't get into college.

She remembered all of it. Especially after reading Naoki's diary. After breakfast she went back to the room to continue reading Naoki's diary, while Chris went away to do the groceries. Kotoko had asked if she wanted her to come along, but Chris wanted Kotoko to continue reading the diary.

* * *

_Christmas was different than usual. But I actually liked it. When I came home, I immediately noticed the obvious three pairs of shoes, which meant that Kotoko brought her two friends. So when I opened the door, I was strewed with confetti, with a happy 'Merry Christmas!'. I didn't feel like celebrating with those three girls, so I wanted to leave already. But they told me to wait, and it seemed her friends had come here to represent a present from Class F. _

_I really didn't expect what to get from a whole bunch of idiots, but what I got was actually far from what I could have ever expected. It was serious a KOTOKO-DOLL. I asked if I was allowed to throw it away, but thought immediately that it was a kind of mean thing to say. But I really had the feeling that I would get cursed. But since I wasn't allowed to throw it away, it's in my room now. Maybe I should use it as a voodoo doll. Just kidding, I'm considered a cold bastard but I'm not really that mean. Well, I don't think so, but Kotoko calls me mean all the time. And still she loves me. _

_That night we all had dinner together, and then it was time for the presents. I hadn't actually bought anything at all, for none of them. Actually we don't really give each other presents with Christmas. But Kotoko had bought something for everyone, and as I expected my mother bought something for her too after all. _

_My present was very surprising. She gave me germanium! I mumbled that I wasn't an old man, and Kotoko squeaked that she had made a bad choice. But when my mother asked if it wasn't expensive, Kotoko replied that she managed to get it with an easy job. Well that caught my attention. Was that why she was working? To be able to buy my present? I really didn't expect that from her. She must really love me then… _

_My mother suddenly asked me if I didn't have a present for Kotoko, but I didn't have one. I had a very small feeling of guilt, but I hadn't expected her to buy seriously something for me. Well, I had thought about chocolate or a stupid hand-knitted sweater or scarf, but she really did buy something expensive for me. She even got a job to buy it for me! My mother said that she had expected I wouldn't have anything for Kotoko, well if I really, really had known about the circumstances I would have bought her something I guess. _

_My mother wanted me to give Kotoko a picture of us together as a present, for in the picture stand she had given Kotoko. But not just together, squished together! I surprised myself with my feelings, but I actually didn't mind at all. At least I would be able to do something back, since I actually even didn't say 'thank you', when she gave it. So I told them 'only one picture' and got up. How shy she was when I took her by her shoulder, and held her close to me, it was really cute actually. I guess she was too shy herself to notice my own heart skipping a beat. I actually wanted something to distract my thoughts and feelings, because I felt a little confused. It's not really that I'm starting to like her or something, but I'm just not used to touching a girl… I guess…_

_Anyway, I decided to tease her, so I held her closer to me and started saying the things I heard her say when I saw her at work. 'Regular, one bowl'. Well that was good one! She blurted out 'No way!' and she pulled away from me! Right when the picture was made! After that I felt a little sorry for her, since I still hadn't thanked her for her present. _

_But she did have a picture of me and her together, only not squished together.I secretly have a copy of the picture. I know it's not like me to do such a thing, but I thought I really should remember that one. So I put the picture right at the end of my diary._

Kotoko's heart skipped a beat. What? Really?! With her heart beating faster she went to the end of the book, and there it fell out. The picture of him and her on Christmas' Eve.

The picture was a really weird one: she with her hands covering her mouth, big eyes and a huge blush, and Naoki with a sort of an evil and amused smile. Not the best picture, but it _was_ the first one of them together. She really felt now that she had been important to him all along!

_That was all for today._

_Naoki_

* * *

__

_The new year started off already, and we've been to the shrine. I was in a pretty good mood. Kotoko looked cute in her kimono. But that wasn't the reason for my good mood… I guess… alright I said I would be honest here, so yes I had a good mood because of that. It was really strange. But because of my good mood I could pray with a slight smile for this year to be a good one. _

_But my good mood was immediately ruined by two things. First I got a note with 'Terrible fortune'. Now that was nice to hear! It's not that I believe in such things, but still. It ruined my mood. Second, my parents and Kotoko keep talking about Tokyo University. But I'm not sure yet if that's what I want to do with my life. Kotoko is knocking on my door and calling for me, now what… _

Naoki thinking she looked cute in a kimono! Kotoko giggled happily, and she felt like a school girl again. That Naoki! Then she thought for a moment. She actually didn't call him very often out of his room back then.

Very few times when Yuuki wasn't there to call him for dinner. And the times she needed help with studying, but she was already through the finals here. What would it have been… Kotoko thought curiously. She really couldn't remember, maybe he wrote it on the next page.

_Seriously, that was close. I couldn't believe it. All she was wearing was shorts and a translucent top. And, she tried to flirt with me. My god! She never tried that before, I have no idea what's suddenly gotten to her, but when I opened my door, she dashed into my room, and she jumped on my bed! _

_I yelled at her like usual, and ordered her to leave. But she just started asking why I didn't like her, and if it had something to do with her body, and what she could do to make me like her. She also started to lie down in the weirdest poses on my bed. Now what the hell! It was very hard not to blush, and the only option I had was to drag her out of my room. So I walked towards her and grabbed her arms and tried to pull her off my bed, what didn't help. _

_So I wrapped my arms around her middle and flipped her over my shoulder. She was kicking and struggling, but I managed to reach her room and I threw her on her own bed. I said she should just leave me alone, and then I left. Glad she didn't come after me. Seriously… GIRLS! I have no idea what suddenly makes her think she can do things like that. Mother is calling for me, I guess because I yelled at Kotoko again. _

_Naoki_

* * *

__

Kotoko's face had gotten all red, and she felt an enormous feeling of embarrassment. She had completely forgotten about that… But she could remember it now perfectly. That 'Great Fortune' note had made her completely reckless, and she thought she hadn't even tried to flirt with him. So maybe it would change his mind. But he did have to blush! Anyway, enough about that. Kotoko turned over the page and continued reading.

_I haven't written in a while, but I'll still write what happened the time I couldn't write. Actually things have been pretty busy, and there's happened a lot. Hang on, I have a strange feeling that I have to go look outside, I'll be right back. _

_Now, another addition to the "happened-list". Kotoko was just now standing outside in front of our house, in the middle of the night, ready to leave us! Now what the hell? We had a conversation, and thanks to me, she's actually staying! I guess it would be better if I tell the whole situation in the correct order. _

_The 20__th __of January was the day of my center exams. I had a slight fever so Kotoko gave me some medicine. It seemed after I had taken it that it was a medicine that causes drowsiness. Great! So at the exams I was seeing everything double. Despite that I knew I did well on the exam and would pass surely. When I came home Kotoko asked how it went. I told her the truth about me seeing everything double, but I thought to fool her as well, as a revenge. So I said I might not make it, and she was in complete panic. Heh. _

_Like I predicted, I passed the exams, and we drank all together at Kotoko's father's restaurant. It actually feels like they belong to our family now, since we do everything together. The conversation finally turned out into Yuuki saying that Kotoko's my jinx! I was surprised because of that statement. He asked if I agreed with him, but I didn't want to answer that. _

_I don't want everyone to know about my growing feelings for her, but at that moment I really couldn't agree about her being my jinx. Surprisingly, I was relieved when we were interrupted by Kinnosuke. It seemed he came to ask Kotoko's father for a job in his restaurant. He's seriously talking about marrying her! _

_But Kotoko doesn't like him, she likes me. Hehe, that sounds good. Anyway, my father started talking about Tokyo University again, and how he wanted me to succeed his company. My feelings still aren't positive about that. My father got mad at me, but calmed down pretty soon. Then Kotoko and my mother left, leaving us behind surprised. I was wondering what they were up to, acting secretly like that. _

_When we came home they were just acting normally again, so I was still wondering what was going on. The next day I felt really stupid. I had the feeling that I was getting infected with Kotoko's dumbness. I saw her peeking a few times in our classroom, and she was hiding something behind her back, and of course, I should have known. It was Valentine's Day. And I was wondering what was going on, I really should have known about her wanting to give me chocolate on Valentine's Day! _

_I was planning to refuse her like I refused the other girls, but I didn't need to, she didn't give it to me! That surprised me, I was wondering when she would give it, but a week just passed by without her trying to give me anything. _

_The 25__th__ was my Tokyo Entrance Exam. And then things started to happen around me. Firstly, Kotoko bound a stupid good luck charm on my bag. Sometimes girls can be so annoying with their girls-stuff. I came to know thanks to Yuuki, that she didn't give me the chocolates because she got an upset stomach because of them. That's so like her! I thanked her, a little arrogantly, but well that's me. _

_Kotoko finally decided that she would go with me, and that was the least I wanted at that moment. I was already stressed because I was going to take an entrance exam, while I wasn't sure yet if that's what I wanted. And then also her coming with me, that couldn't go without trouble. The drama started already in the metro. My bag was stuck in the door, opposite the door we needed, because of that – stupid – good – luck – charm! Now that was a little panic for me, and for her as well. We managed to get off right on time. I told her to go home already: my terrible fortune – message suddenly came back to me, and I was worried that more things would happen._

_ At the bottom was written "You will have girl troubles". She refused to go, and I finally thought to myself it was stupid to think of that note at such a time. So I said bluntly "do what you want", and walked on. _

_When she told me "good luck" when we were at the gate, she looked a little strange. There was something wrong with her. But I just automatically walked on. My mind was too much on the fact that I was going to take the exam, that I couldn't think clearly about Kotoko. But I soon came to senses when I heard someone ask "are you okay?", and immediately ran back. _

_Kotoko was bending down, almost sitting on the ground and she looked like she really was in pain. After telling me I had to go hurry to my exams, she fainted. I immediately lifted her, and asked someone for the hospital. My mind was off the exam for a moment, I really was worried about Kotoko. Never knew before that that would ever happen. But while I carried her, she kept on mumbling about my exam. I wondered. Was it that important for her? She was in serious pain, her face looked pale white, and she still managed to speak about my exam! When I saw her laying in bed, and when the doctor told me he was sure she had been in pain until now, I suddenly made a decision. _

_I realized right away that I didn't want to go to Tokyo University. Like my mother said before, it's more fun to have a life filled with suspense and drama. And that's what Kotoko gives me. She makes me enjoy life more, and I want nothing else than go to the same university as her, just to enjoy that fun a little longer. _

_I called my mother and Kotoko's father to inform them about what happened, and then went away to get something to eat. When I came back, my mother and Kotoko's father were there already. And when I told them I didn't take the exam, Kotoko started to cry. She was really, really sad. God why does she love a cold bastard like me that much. And then I came back at what I wrote before. I was writing my diary, till a sudden feeling dragged me to my window, just in time actually. She was really walking away already! I didn't have a choice, but to tell her about how I really felt, otherwise she would really leave. _

_So I told her that my life was more interesting and exciting with her around. I quickly tried to end our conversation, I had said enough, but she kept on talking. Finally at the end she told me she loved me. This time those words meant a little more for me… Not that I let her notice that, I kept my cool like always. _

_My hand's actually starting to hurt now, and I guess I told everything that happened. _

_Naoki_


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I actually wanted to make this chapter longer than it is now, but since I'm writing sooo slowly, I decided to upload it already :] **

**So then the story will contain a little more chapters, but I don't mind. Now off to skipping through the next episode, things are getting harder to write .**

**Well, I hope this little chapter will satisfy you for now.. :]**

* * *

_I'm really glad that Kotoko is staying with us. Not that I let anyone notice that. I just act like I normally do. Today she tried to give me her chocolate. I reacted the same way as when she tried to give me her love letter. A little mean since she worked hard on it, but well... I can't go acting suspicious now, can I? _

_I'd rather keep my feelings to myself. And it's not that I like her the way she likes me, but I just enjoy her presence. That's something else. She is pretty cute when she's all worked up, so I have more reason to tease her. The letters on her chocolate said 'Flom' instead of 'From'! Really stupid, but funny. Seeing her freaked out because of that mistake made me almost laugh in front of her._

_Naoki_

* * *

Kotoko got up to get something to drink. Glad it was Sunday, she had the whole day to finish reading. She drank and chatted together with Chris, and explained about the diary. She felt better, but still wanted to wait with contacting her husband. First she should finish reading the diary, if this was his answer why he loved her.

She finally went back to continue reading. Chris wanted her to finish soon because she felt sorry for Naoki. She actually wasn't the only one. Kotoko felt a little bad when she thought about him. But when the image of him and the young nurse appeared again, it still hurt her inside…

* * *

_I still can't believe it myself. I kissed Kotoko. I really __kissed__ her. Well, but there's a story behind that. Let's start from the beginning. Today was graduation day, and I was in a really bad mood. Everyone is talking about me not going to Tokyo University and stuff, and I know they're blaming Kotoko. _

_I don't like that either, but standing up for her would be a bad thing to do, I'd only make things worse. For her, as well as for myself. One of the good things today, is that I bullied Kinnosuke again, with success._

_I was the representative, and when I was having my speech, I noticed Kotoko was daydreaming again. Geez. Later, it was her turn, together with Kinnosuke. That was a complete disaster. They totally messed up, thanks to that stupid Kinnosuke, who embarrassed both Kotoko and me. Firstly it seemed he was dreaming about a marriage with Kotoko, and said "I swear" in front of the whole school. After that he grabbed the microphone, and he seriously started yelling at me. He announced actually to me, but at the same time to the whole school, that he was the one who was going to marry Kotoko. And when he asked if there were any objections, my mother stood up and yelled that I had to object. That was so embarrassing, I'd rather not write more about that scene. _

_Kotoko ran away crying, but she fell down the stairs and dropped all of the papers. Right in front of me of course. I grabbed her ear and scolded her. Actually it wasn't her fault but Kinnosuke's, but I was really annoyed, so I couldn't help it. _

_That night we went to drink something with our class, to celebrate our graduation. And of course, of all places, we were celebrating at the same place as Kotoko's class. Now WHY couldn't she leave me alone for just a minute? I don't want anyone to ever see how I feel around her, and no way am I going to show that to them, or to her, or to anyone… _

_ I of course acted like I always do: arrogant. My personality isn't really the worst, I do have feelings, like you know, but I always use my arrogance to hide everything else. Kinnosuke started to perform a song he wrote for Kotoko, and it really was embarrassing, I can't believe he has no shame. But Kotoko WAS embarrassed, poor her. Hehe. Kinnosuke stopped because he got some call from his boss or something, and he ran off. _

_After a small discussion between our two teachers, my teacher started blaming Kotoko for me not going to Tokyo University. I didn't like seeing her looking so sad again, so I interrupted and stood up for her in my own, arrogant way. A way that pissed her off! _

_She started yelling at me, and I felt that tiny feeling of enjoyment again, which I always feel when Kotoko is worked up. It's something I secretly get a kick of actually. So I couldn't help it, I started bullying her in public. Something I shouldn't have done. But that's how it went. The bullying ended with everyone calling Kotoko's feelings for me pointless, and then her revenge came, what was a pretty good one for someone so stupid. She got me freaked out… She started showing everyone a picture from my childhood! _

_Now I never felt that embarrassed and worked up before, I guess. I managed to grab the picture, and when she was digging in her pocket, saying she had another one, I grabbed her without thinking by her wrist, and pulled her along with me, outside. _

_I was dragging her along easily, despite her struggling and yelling. We finally reached an abandoned alley, and I cornered her. I actually had no idea what I was planning to. Kotoko started to cry out loud and the things she said made again emotions awake inside of me. She said she was going to stop loving me, that she would reset all her unrequited feelings for me together with graduation, that she wanted to forget about me, and that she knew my character so well that it disgusted her. _

_Those things did hurt me a little, but at that moment I realized one thing. I didn't want her to stop loving me, I didn't want her to forget about me. How selfish can I be? Selfish enough to __make__ her keep loving me. I reacted on impulse, but it was the best thing I could do to be satisfied, and sure she won't stop loving me. I kissed her. _

_I just leant in and closed my lips on her soft and warm ones. And the look she gave me when I pulled away. It made me feel warm inside. Still, I let it that way. I didn't want any more confusion or whatever, so I walked away, and continued my teasing by saying "serves you right", and I stuck my tongue out at her. _

_After that I went home by myself. When I came home I didn't greet anyone, but I went upstairs, and I'm now writing this. My diary is like a box which keeps all my feelings hidden from the world. And at the moment, I'd like to keep them there… _

_Naoki_

* * *

__

Kotoko's heart had started beating faster as she read this. The explanation of their first kiss… She shook her head and turned over the page. This was all in the past. But still, it warmed her up. And with a warm look in her eyes she started to read the next page.


	8. Chapter 8

_Things have been awkward here since I kissed Kotoko. I mean, we still live here together and I have no intention of having her closer to me than she is. I don't know, when I think about falling in love with her, and what would happen after that, I've got that feeling inside of me that wants to prevent that from happening. _

_You wouldn't say it, but I think the 'genius' is afraid of loving someone. I don't know, love is such a complicated thing, which I prefer not to be involved into yet. I keep confusing myself all the time._

_Well we're both going to college now, and because of my confused feelings I've even gotten colder towards her. It's easier for me to bully her and to act cold towards her, than to be nice to her… But how will she keep loving me like that? Ah, the kiss of course! Today I remembered her myself, but let's start from the beginning. _

_Today was our first day at our new college. I must say, Kotoko's new uniform is so pink that it's funny, and maybe I was being mean again, but I was actually serious when I called her a pig. Even though I thought it was funny, I just couldn't even joke with her with a smile on my face… Also when we had to walk together, I was really cold with her. I guess that's just a mixture of my personality and annoying hormones? _

_On our way she was dreaming so much that she bumped her head against a post, now that was stupid! I called her a blockhead. It's true, isn't it? Every time I bully her, there's this tiny feeling of guilt which annoys me like hell. _

_It's a whole new start, studying here. There's this girl in my class who seems to be interested in me. Matsumoto Yuuko. She's pretty, smart, and I can have nice conversations with her. Still, I don't feel anything when I'm near her. But that's why I like being with her. When I'm with Kotoko, feelings and thoughts take control of me, and make me even confused! They make my heart beat faster and faster, they can make me dizzy, they can make me even do things like kissing her! Being around her isn't very easy for me. _

_But when I'm with Matsumoto, I can be calm, we can have nice conversations, and I don't have anything to worry about. Hehe, and also, it makes Kotoko jealous. I think everyone could feel the tension when Kotoko and Matsumoto were glaring at each other! I have a feeling that this can become quite interesting._

_Back at home, just before I entered my room to write this, I spoke Kotoko for a moment. I'm so proud of myself that I can keep my cool around her. She asked me things about Matsumoto, and I made her jealous. After that I asked her if she didn't say something like forgetting about me, and said her that the reason for not forgetting would be that we kissed already! I only have to say the word 'kiss' and she blushes already. She's so shy since I kissed her. I actually don't know if I like her shy and quiet side more than her loud and lively side. _

_I came closer to her, and she probably thought I was going to kiss her again, since she closed her eyes. She did look very cute, but no way I was going to kiss her again! So I laughed at her, really hard, I couldn't help it. _

_I'm pretty tired right now so I think I'll go sleep already. _

_Naoki_

* * *

Kotoko couldn't believe that all these thoughts and feelings were behind his actions back then. She really thought he didn't care or think about her at all! She turned over the page and looked at the clock. She actually didn't know if she wanted to go back home today, it depended on when she'd be done reading.

* * *

_Today Kotoko left to school without me. Maybe she was still embarrassed from last night, and I think she's still thinking about Matsumoto. I met her in the cafeteria when she was thinking aloud. She indeed looked at me like something was bugging her. When we ordered our lunch we discovered Kinnosuke is working in the cafeteria. Brilliant! Just when I thought I got finally rid of him. _

_After that Sudou came asking me again to join his club, and in such a stupid way that it caused misunderstandings. Everyone thought he was proposing to me, and it was pretty embarrassing. Ah well, I am joining the tennis club now. And of course like I expected, Kotoko followed me, and is in the tennis club now as well! I think this is gonna be very embarrassing for her. _

_But now I know she still loves me. Still I have this feeling that my behavior doesn't support this feeling of hers… I can't help it, it's so hard to act nice to her, but there's also this chance that she'll meet some other guy and forget about me. I'm still wondering if it is actually because I like her, or because of my pride, that I want her to keep loving me. I don't know anything about love. Dinner's ready, gotta stop now._

_Naoki_

* * *

That's right. Naoki didn't know anything about love. Their first weeks as a married couple were also rather troublesome. But now he really knew how to love, how to act, and everything around it. Kotoko was the one who taught him, and it made her feel proud of herself.

The desire of returning to him, to let him wrap his strong arms around her, to hear his voice, it all became stronger. But she had to finish reading first. She sighed as she turned over the page.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Yay I updated :D Chapter 9 already, I think Kotoko and Naoki should reunite soon. **

**I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

_Sorry, but I didn't write yesterday. I had been busy with college and club activities, and just when I wanted to write, late in the evening, I couldn't. Why not? I'll tell you! Kotoko was having trouble with tennis yesterday, and now she's got a big racket mark on her face, and a plaster aid on her nose. _

_It looks very funny, and seriously, I laughed so much. I did open my diary, but just when I lowered the pen, I had to laugh again. And that everytime. And well I can't laugh and write at the same time, it'll look like this~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Today there hasn't happened a lot. It was almost a normal day. Tonight, Kotoko asked me to go to the movies with her. I rejected her of course, that's just obvious isn't it? Of course I wouldn't go. I made her angry again. Don't feel like writing any more. _

_Naoki_

* * *

_Today was pretty fascinating. I went on a sort of date with Kotoko. Yes I'm serious, and I once again opened my heart a little to her. Today at college, Matsumoto asked me to go to the movies with her, the same movie as Kotoko wanted to see… And I said yes. Why? I don't know. Maybe to be free from everything, just be relaxed, and watch a movie. I'm sure if it was with Kotoko I would be bothered with her watching me all the time, with a blush on her face, and hesitating to touch my hand and stuff. Not that Matsumoto didn't. I put my hand away just in time. But going to the movies with Kotoko just isn't a good idea. _

_And of course I noticed from the very beginning Kotoko was near. Was she seriously following us? But she wasn't alone, Sudou was with her. First I wondered why, and I've seriously felt a tiny feeling of jealousy, I don't know why though. But I discovered soon that Sudou seems to have a crush on Matsumoto. Actually it gave me a bit of a bad feeling, to have turned down her invitation, and then let her find out that I was going with someone else._

_ After the movie we went to drink something, and Matsumoto thinks we would be a great couple together. I don't agree with her, but I didn't say that. And I actually have no idea why I described my 'ideal girl' while it actually wasn't all true what I said, and while I knew Kotoko was listening. I haven't seen her reaction, and I don't know if it made her sad, or angry. But it's like everything inside of me is working against her. Like I don't want her to get any closer to me. How do they call that. Fear of commitment…_

_ It's so strange. I'm so smart, I can remember things by seeing or reading them once. But I don't understand feelings, emotions and love. When we were younger, Yuuki called me a robot in a human body when we were having a fight. Even though I grew up, I never forgot that insult. But maybe he was right...  
_

_But the day isn't over yet. When we walked back, we suddenly heard some noise behind us. It seemed lik Kotoko got herself into trouble again, and I automatically went to help her. In my own way of helping though. But I did help her out. After that I left Sudou and Matsumoto with the man whom they were having trouble with, and I took Kotoko with me. She acted as energetic as she usually does, but I could notice that something was bothering her, and I guess it was because of what she heard me say in the café. It made me feel sorry. So I left Sudou with his crush Matsumoto alone, and took Kotoko with me. And it was (of course) indeed bothering her, that I was with Matsumoto. And she really thought I liked Matsumoto. Was that my intention? _

_For a moment I thought that's what I wanted her to think, but of course feelings and confusion took over again, so I asked her to go somewhere together. And well, I actually had no idea where to go to. And I guess my devilish side still was present, so well, I took her on a boat trip, about which was this well-known story that any couple who rides on the boats there, will be jinxed and break up. But actually I only had myself with it, because when I told her, she stood up IN the boat, and we fell. _

_And then, we were all alone, just the two of us, waiting for our clothes to dry. And again, I talked to her. About my feelings and stuff. I told her she was my trial which I have to face. I have never had any struggles or trouble in my entire life before, and ever since Kotoko's been in my life, my life is filled with it. I think it's better to have a life like this. Of course I didn't tell her how she made me feel, but I did tell her it isn't so bad living together with her. _

_The funny thing was, that Kotoko of course isn't very smart... And she didn't get all the things I said. So she suddenly jumped to the conclusion that I was PROPOSING. It was very stupid, but thinking back I can't help but laugh. It's funny. And… she confessed to me again. And she hugged me. I wonder if I will ever hug her back. _

_I'll give myself away if I'll ever do that! Of course making fun of her is still a habit of mine, but I feel the sphere is more positive when we're together. Despite my confusion and thoughts. Ah well, I'll see what the future will bring me. I'll go sleep now. _

_Naoki_

* * *

Kotoko could remember that moment very well. The moment Naoki suddenly seemed kinder. So these things were on his mind back then. She turned the page to read on.

_This is unbelievable. Kotoko and her father left our house. They just moved out! I wonder, if it's better like this. This'll give me the chance to turn my thoughts back to normal, no confusion, or any trouble anymore. My life will just turn back to normal. Maybe it's better like this._

_Naoki_

* * *

_I take that back. That Kotoko left our house, didn't solve anything at all. In fact, things have gotten worse. At college, Kotoko asked me if it wasn't lonely without her. It is, but of course I won't admit. Everything is so quiet, and empty without her. It does feel like something is missing. But I still don't know if I really want this 'missing' part to return. _

_It's obvious that Kotoko is very sad. I have this uneasy feeling too. Everytime I see her this odd feeling returns. I still don't understand a lot about feelings and love, but I think I do understand that I'm really starting to miss her presence. Matsumoto is clinging onto me all the time. Everywhere I go, she follows, and she even watches me when I'm reading. Still I don't care at all. I just let her.__ I still don't feel anything when I'm near her. _

_I'm going down for dinner… Which won't be the same either without Kotoko and her father. _

_Naoki_

* * *

The fact that she left did bother him after all! Kotoko still always thought he didn't care. But he did. She had even forgotten that she and her father left the Irie family for a while. It had all been so long ago. She gazed at the clock, and quickly turned over the page.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: The next chapter! Thank you all for your patience, and I really appreciate all the reviews you guys write, they encourage me! ^_^ This was episode 10, but don't worry, I won't make his diary continue all the way to episode 24! :P You'll see how it'll turn out, I already have ideas!  
**

**I hope the next chapter will be up soon! **

* * *

_Today was rather unexpected. The worst thing is that my brother Yuuki is in the hospital right now. But I couldn't believe it… Kotoko saved him. It was with help from me, but if she wasn't there, I don't want to think about what could have happened. It all started when I was just at college like usual, and suddenly got a phone call from home. _

_But it wasn't my mother, my father or Yuuki. It was from Kotoko. First I was really shocked that Kotoko was at my place, so I yelled at her, making everyone around me look at me. But then it became serious… It seemed something was wrong with Yuuki. Kotoko was really panicked, and explained Yuuki had thrown up twice since she arrived, and seemed to be talking about his stomach hurting. I explained everything she had to do, and she obeyed. _

_After that I hurried to the hospital. When me and my mother were at the hospital we were told that it was ileocecal intussusception, and Yuuki had to go through with a surgery. I had never heard of this ileocecal intussusceptions before. It seemed to be a kind of intestinal blockage. That really bothered me. _

_Actually I'm not used to not knowing something, and with that I'm not trying to show off, but it's the truth. I found out how scary it is not to know something. I went to Yuuki's room and sat down beside him. Kotoko was there too, and I talked a little to her. When she told me she was going to call her dad and ran away, that's when I realized how upset she was. _

_I didn't realize it earlier, but then it was all obvious. When she stood in front of the door, with her back towards me, rattling on about forgetting her phone and being an idiot, that's when a desire of wanting to hold her overwhelmed me. And this time I couldn't stop it. _

_That's when I also realized that whenever she cries, my emotions get stronger too. I wonder, if she hadn't cried back then, would I have resisted from kissing her? Ah well, it doesn't mind anymore. This time, I gently pulled my arm around her, held her close to me and thanked her for saving Yuuki. That's when she couldn't hold it anymore. She turned around and grabbed me around my middle, and she cried harder than I had ever heard or seen before. _

_I held her in my arms and comforted her, this felt so strange. I could feel my heart beat faster than it normally does. And a similar feeling returned. It was the same feeling I had after I had kissed her at our graduation day. _

_After she had calmed down, my mother called Kotoko's father. Her father came to pick her up, and then they went home. I went back with my mother, and had to hear her say how she wanted them to come back with us. Of course I wouldn't tell her I agree with that. That comment only will hunt me down forever. Well the comment wouldn't, but my mother would, you know what I mean. _

_I'm back home now, and ready to go to sleep. It's now even emptier at home without Yuuki. It's now just me, my mother and my father. I wonder how it is with Kotoko and her father, living there alone, just the two of them_

_Naoki_

* * *

_I spent the past few days mostly at college and at the hospital. Kotoko is there often as well. I'm actually glad that Kotoko is as stupid as she is. Her stupid words and actions make my confusing feelings fade away for a while. _

_She wanted to tutor the boy who's sharing a room with Yuuki. Non-chan, he's been admitted for a long time because of his illness. She didn't even realize how bad idea it was for her to tutor someone. A stupid person not noticing her own stupidity! _

_Normally I return on my own or with my mother, but this time I walked back with Kotoko alone. I think it'd be an uncomfortable situation, but we had something to talk about, so it wasn't much of a bother. In fact, she gave me an idea of what I could do with my future. And I have a feeling that this is what I'm meant for. First she started to cry because she pitied Non-chan. Just a few tears, so nothing to make my emotions overflow, hehe. _

_And then she suddenly was happy again, exclaiming that I could be the one who could help people like Non-chan. She said that I'm capable of becoming a doctor, and help lots of people. Now that isn't a bad idea at all, for someone so stupid. Tomorrow we'll be visiting the hospital again. Oh dinner's ready, gotta go._

_Naoki _

* * *

That's when everything started, Kotoko thought. Only those few words from her mouth, and look where they've stranded! Naoki is the best doctor in Japan (she was fully convinced of that), and she was finally capable of becoming a nurse, even though she had been a Class F student.

_Today was Yuuki's last day in the hospital. That also meant goodbye to Non-chan. It's not that I like the fact that Yuuki had to stay in the hospital, but to be honest, I had a wonderful time these few days. Tutoring Non-chan, seeing him, Yuuki and Kotoko having fun. Even though they sometimes caused trouble. _

_For example Non-chan having a fever just because they had too much fun, or Kotoko and Yuuki having a kind of food fight. It felt disappointing when we were leaving. Ah well, everything will finally come to an end. But this is the first time I've seen Yuuki so sad. He hasn't had many friends, and leaving Non-chan was a hard thing. He cried a lot. And now, putting Yuuki's discharge aside, the biggest news of today. Kotoko and her father are moving in again. I can't believe it! _

_After dinner Kotoko went to do the dishes, and I went up to my room. I actually wanted to talk to her, so I waited till I heard her coming upstairs. When I heard her footsteps I opened my door (and startled her). But when I saw her, I just didn't know what to say. I ended up saying "What is it?", as if she was the one who wanted to talk to me. Finally the only words I could say were: "Don't cause too much trouble". _

_Actually they're words with no worth, but I could see that Kotoko could see the meaning behind them. I guess because I smiled. But she smiled widely and blushed. So I guess she knew the positive meaning behind my words. _

_Now off to bed, I'll write soon again._

_Naoki_

* * *

"Hey Kotoko! Will you come eat something with us? It's been a while since you ate today" Chris asked. "Sure! But I want to finish reading today, I'd like to go home tonight if possible.." Kotoko said softly. Chris smiled. "Of course! It won't take long!" Kotoko nodded, and followed her friend.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Finally! The next chapter ! ^_^ Thank you all for your support, the last review made me write this on. I'm sorry guys but I'm so busy with making AMV's that I don't even write or watch Anime :) But whenever I even start writing I just can't stop ^^ So prepare for some long chapter! **

**This was episode 11, a part of episode 12 and some things I made up myself. Because in the Anime it says "half a year later', I had to think of some things that could have happened that time :) And I made it shorter, not half a year. Otherwise it would have become veeery long! xD**

**Well enjoy Naoki and his intense feelings for now! :P I hope I can update soon!**

* * *

_Everything is back to normal again. Kotoko's energetic character is all over the house again. I'll take less time for writing because I'm going to transfer to the medical department, so I'll have to study, for a change. Today Kotoko came into my room to call me for tea. She saw that I was reading a medical book, and now she's the only one who knows that I'm going to study to become a doctor. I hope she'll really keep quiet about this, it won't be good if anyone came to know it already. Especially my father… _

_It can be so annoying when Kotoko is as loud as she is! She wanted to do something for me, but the only thing she could do to help me is leave me alone. She even tried to give me a shoulder massage! I'm not used to her touching me out of the blue. So that's when I got freaked out and pushed her out of my room. I think I'm going to study a little bit more, and then I'll go to sleep._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Okay I've been studying a lot lately, even at school. Kotoko does try her best to help me, but she can't do anything better than covering me in books and put a stupid charm inside my book. She did cover me with a blanket one night when I fell asleep during studying. _

_My feelings for Kotoko have calmed again. I'm just focusing on studying now and I was surprised it works. Maybe it was just a temporary period of overflowing hormones, which I haven't had before so I'm just not used to it. Ah well I should stop making up excuses, I'll just have to admit that Kotoko, strange enough, is secretly someone special in my life. What doesn't mean I want her to stay by my side forever. Oh gotta get down for dinner now._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Today we went to the mall with the family, plus Kotoko and her father. Me to the mall? Yeah I didn't want to of course, but my mother made me… It was not really enjoyable, she and Kotoko dragged us everywhere to buy clothes. _

_Every time Kotoko showed up out of the fitting room I saw her quickly glance at me to see if I noticed her. One time she did gather the courage to ask me if I thought the dress fitted her, and I…. said yes. Actually I was planning to keep my mouth shut but the way my mother was glaring at me... Yeah geniuses can be afraid of their mothers now and then. If it has to do with Kotoko my mother can be like a monster towards me. _

_After that we went to get some ice cream, but Kotoko tripped (of course…) and fell against me, so I walked the rest of the day with a with ice cream covered t-shirt. _

_There were also some guys hitting on Kotoko, but my mother made them leave. Funny how shy Kotoko reacted to those guys flirting with her, compared with how she's giving her all to get my attention. _

_We had dinner at a restaurant, and actually I haven't talked very much. I'm thinking a lot about my studies, and try not to think about Kotoko. But just whenever I focus on her lips I can't help but think about that kiss. I know I shouldn't focus on her lips then, but sometimes I just can't help it. Actually she really is a pain in the neck. She's annoying and loud, and still she's driving me crazy. I'm happy she's oblivious to the fact that I think about her that way. _

_But well, I'm quitting now, I'm pretty tired._

_Naoki_

* * *

_About two weeks I'll have my entrance exam for the medical department. I'm not really worried about it, but I do have to do my best this time. So that's why I'll put this diary in my closet for now, and I'll get it out after the entrance exam. So until then I won't write._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Okay I said I wouldn't write but this is really something I just need to write down. Heh. At college there were seriously TWO guys fighting over Kotoko! Well one of them was Kinnosuke of course. But the other was some senior who's interested her. Since when is she attracting guys like that? First she didn't have any attention at all and just when I begin to feel something for her, other guys do so too. _

_They were seriously fighting over her. This senior has been hanging around her the past few days, and he even asked her out. But Kinnosuke of course noticed. So they challenged each other in the canteen. Just when they really wanted to punch each other I interrupted. And I said with my full pride that Kotoko doesn't like either of them, but she likes me. I really pissed them off of course, but they didn't fight so that was a good thing. _

_This little voice in my head is saying someone would take her away someday if I won't do something, but.. yeah, I don't know, I just can't. Oh it's almost midnight already, gotta study a little and then I'll go to bed. My entrance exam will be the day after tomorrow. _

_Naoki_

* * *

_I passed. I'm oficially in the medical department now. All the transfer procedures are done now. Spring break will start tomorrow, and I got a job in Romance Village, and I have this feeling that I will be chased. Either by Kotoko herself, or my mother, or Matsumoto Yuuko. _

_Still my mother wants to go out for dinner because I'll leave tomorrow, so I gotta go._

_Naoki_

* * *

_I was right. Well, I was almost right, it was even worse! Kotoko, Yuuki, Matsumoto Yuuko and her sister, AND KINNOSUKE, chased me all the way to Romance Village! Glad my mother didn't come along. I'm in the train now, and I just woke up. _

_We're heading back home from Romance Village and a lot happened. Kotoko and Yuuki are sleeping so I'll write a little down. Never mind I'll write about it at home, I think Kotoko is waking up._

_Naoki  
_

* * *

Kotoko laughed at the ugly letters. He sure hurried to finish the last words. She did remember seeing him putting something in his bag when she opened her eyes a little. Unbelievable that it was his diary.

* * *

_This is horrible. I'll tell about Romance Village later. But when I came home, my father wanted to talk with me. He got a call from my university, and they told him I transferred to the medical department. He was furious. And when I finally stood up for myself, he fainted. It seemed he got a heart attack. _

_This feeling of guilt is horrible. It's midnight now, and I can't sleep. Half an hour ago, I was sitting on the couch, with Kotoko's arms around me. She was so sad when I told her I'd better succeed his company. I haven't felt like this before. I really felt sad. _

_And then Kotoko just wrapped her arms around me from behind. It felt so good and comforting. I wanted to turn around and embrace her like I did at the hospital. But I couldn't. I just froze, but didn't push her arms away. After that I told her to go to bed, and that I would be alright. And now I'm writing this. I'd better go to sleep now, it's late._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Hmm I still can't sleep, so I'll write about Romance Village. It'll make me feel better too._

_Okay, Romance Village. Well, how should I put it… I kissed Kotoko again. Yeah really. But I'll just tell everything. Despite my negative thoughts about everyone coming to Romance Village we did have fun all together. We played tennis, and cards, and we had barbecue together. It actually was really much fun! _

_Still, I could feel Kotoko's disappointment that the Matsumoto sisters were with us. And sometimes she infected me with that feeling. I don't want to be alone with Kotoko but still I felt sometimes disappointed about it. _

_While I was working I saw Kotoko sitting against a tree, and she was sleeping. All alone, and again I felt this unknown feeling, a feeling that dragged me towards her. I just automatically put down the stuff I was carrying and watched her. She was sleeping so peacefully and she looked so innocent, her annoying and loud character was invisible for a moment. _

_And also at that moment I realized how soft her face and cheeks looked, and how pretty she actually was. Not like the Matsumoto sisters, but in her own way. Maybe I do understand why guys fight over her. And then the automatic action went on, dragged me closer and closer to her, and I kissed her! It was short and soft, not like our first kiss. The first kiss was rough and kind of forced on her. But this one was calm, and actually just innocent. In case she would wake up our lips barely touched, but it was a memorable moment. _

_I was kinda shocked to see Yuuki standing behind a bush with a huge blush on his face. He saw us. At first I was a little panicked, but I know Yuuki would keep quiet if I told him so. So I made clear he had to keep quiet about this, and I know he will. I do feel embarrassed though. _

_The next day they organized some couple orienteering event. Sudou and Kotoko created some lottery to decide the pairs, but I knew they did some kind of trick with it. Especially when Kotoko mumbled "After all we went through" when I tore the paper. I knew I would be paired up with Kotoko for sure with that lottery, and that would be awkward. _

_So I suggested rock, paper, scissors, so I still had chance to be paired up with someone else. And it worked. I was paired up with Matsumoto Reiko, Kotoko with Yuuki and Sudou with Matsumoto Yuuko. Reiko held on to my arm all the time. I allowed her, if it was Kotoko I wouldn't allow it. Hehe. But when she was getting annoying I pulled away from her. She really likes me but I'm not interested. _

_On our way we found Kotoko's hat, and I suddenly felt worried. Kotoko is stupid, but she wouldn't just leave her hat on the ground. I turned and said we had to go back. I wanted to know if she was back already, maybe she just lost her hat, but something could have happened. As I feared, Kotoko and Yuuki indeed hadn't returned yet, while they were the first who left and the sun was already setting. So I went looking for them. _

_And I was just in time. They were being attacked by a wolf, so Tiny protected them. But then I heard some odd howl, and I recognized the voice. That wasn't an animal... that was Kinnosuke. _

_So I sent Kotoko and Yuuki back with Sudou, and followed the sound. And there was Kinnosuke. He probably fell down the mountain or something, cause he was wounded. So I helped him. Yeah I couldn't leave him alone like that. _

_Well I guess that was all. Now I'd really better go to bed before it'll be morning again._

_Naoki_

* * *

Poor Naoki, Kotoko thought. But she couldn't help but smile when she read about the second kiss. And how he described her.. That she just had no idea he felt that way back then.

She was too busy with her own feelings to notice his! Not that his feelings were very obvious, but still. She gazed at the clock. 14:30. "And Kotoko?" Chris asked. "I'm not done yet, but it sure is uhm.. detailed!" Kotoko giggled.

"Haha! Who would have expected this from Naoki!"

"Yeah I know, no one" Kotoko said and she smiled. "Well I won't disturb you anymore, just read on" Chris said as she left again. "You're not disturbing!" Kotoko laughed, and she went to the next page.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Yes yes yes! Here's the next chapter, and as you guys might feel, the story is coming to an end :) The last chapters will be uploaded soon! **

**I'll actually feel sad when I'm done writing this, lol, I really enjoy it ^_^ When I was watching episode 12 and 13 for this chapter, I almost got emotional when I was thinking about the sad feelings he must have felt 0:) hehe! I'm sorry if this chapter looks like it's a little rushed, but I can't help it :( Well enough chat, enjoy reading! ^^**

* * *

_I don't know what to think, or say, or do. I'm seriously having a marriage interview tomorrow. I was told that if I would marry this girl, it would benefit the management of the company. And that's what my father needs._

_ In order to get healthy again, we'll have to remove his stress. I'm already in the medical department, I can't change it anymore, I'll have to do this. I'm feeling how I'm ignoring this unknown pain in my heart. I'll have to leave my family, and Kotoko. But I can do this._

_Naoki_

* * *

_I've met her. Christine Robbins. It was a rough day today. I had to ignore my own feelings, and Kotoko and Matsumoto Yuuko who were stalking me. Seriously. Don't make it hard for me. Christine is a nice, friendly and pretty girl. Marrying her would be any man's dream. But why does it make me feel upset? I know to marry you have to love someone, so that might be it, but I can get to love her when I learn more about her. _

_But I just keep thinking about Kotoko. What do I want anyway? I still can't say I love Kotoko. She's important to me, but do I love her? I still have this resistant feeling that I don't want Kotoko any closer to me than she is, but I wonder why it's so hard for me then to marry another woman. Ah well, I'll have to live with it, I have to do this._

_When I just came home, Kotoko asked me if I was going to marry Christine. She was so sad, but there's nothing to do about it. I'll have to leave her. I'm going to bed, I'm feeling awful._

_Naoki_

* * *

_I kinda overslept today. When I got down everyone was gone, except for Yuuki, he was having his lunch. Yeah I slept that long. I asked where Kotoko was, and Yuuki said she had a date! I can't believe it. It's two o'clock right now, about an hour I'll be meeting Christine._

_Naoki_

* * *

_I'm back. Christine is such a nice girl, but I'm still not feeling any better. I just couldn't stop thinking about Kotoko! This sad feeling, it just won't go away. Christine and I walked into Kotoko and Kinnosuke when we were heading back. So Kinnosuke was her date… Kotoko looked happy, she was having fun, until she saw me. She just couldn't look at me. Even though I knew Kotoko was thinking about me too, it still hurt when I saw her grab Kinnosuke's arm. And when I came home I was immediately attacked by my mother. Man she's pissed off. _

_In order to let her calm down, I just had to say that I like the girl. When I got upstairs I saw Kotoko. That didn't go well at all, we only pissed each other off. I'm quitting._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Today was rather troublesome. I introduced Christine to my mother, and all my mother did was hate her. I felt kinda sorry for Christine, my mother was a total monster. On one side I was glad Kotoko acted cheerful and normal, on the other side it was annoying. How could she be that cheerful already, even when she knows she'll lose me? Not that I want to see her depressing either… I just don't know. But she even tried to help Chris and me. _

_After that I had a fight with my mother. Seriously, why isn't anyone making things easier for me. I can't remember I've ever cried, tears aren't normal for me. But if I COULD cry, it could have been in this situation. I didn't though. I never cry…_

_Naoki_

* * *

Kotoko couldn't help it. He hadn't cried back then, but reading how he felt, the pain he felt, made her cry. It felt like she cried for him instead. Tears fell on the diary pages and for a moment she embraced the diary and sobbed. "K-Kotoko?!" Chris exclaimed and she ran over to her.

"I-it's just t-that - *sob* p-poor Irie-kun!" Kotoko cried. "Kotoko relax! It's the past!" Chris hugged Kotoko and smiled. "Right? So just read on, you'll reach the happy part!" Kotoko smiled and nodded. "You're right!" She wiped away her tears and turned over the page.

* * *

_I've made my decision. I know now, I love Kotoko. I'm sure. I overheard her friends today, and it seems that Kinnosuke proposed! How could he do that this fast! Right at that moment I knew it, I couldn't lose her. It was different when she had to lose me, it felt like it had to be like that, I had to help my father._

_ But now I'm about to lose her. Kotoko might be this stupid and depressed because of me, that she'd actually agree to marry him. I think I won't be marrying Christine. Kotoko is a good person, she couldn't say no. She'll be unhappy for the rest of her life. I don't know what'll happen, but I'm going after her. I'll wait for her and see what will happen, cause I don't know what I'll do when I see her. All I know now is that I want to stop her._

_Naoki_

* * *

_Okay, tonight was seriously, until now, the most intense experience of my life. I can't believe it, but my body is still shivering, and I have a really weird feeling, but it's positive. I'm going to marry Kotoko. I'm so.. happy that I can't even write it down, but I'm still going to, I'll even repeat tonight be describing everything. _

_Well as I wrote before I was going after Kotoko. Now, the moment I saw her walking in the rain I was attacked by emotions. I wanted to see her so bad, and then there she was. I first didn't know what to do or say, I did keep my cool though. I said I was waiting for her. _

_The first minutes when we were walking together were rather.. awkward. I said I heard Kinnosuke proposed to her. And then our discussion/fight started. She said she would agree to marry him, so she could forget about me, and so that I could be happy with Christine and she with Kinnosuke. I can't believe my pride is this big, but I started to protest. I said she was in love with me and she couldn't forget about me, and hell I don't know all things I said._

_ But I do know I made her cry. She cried, and screamed at me, and the rain made the scene even more intense. And when she was saying how I don't care about her at all, I couldn't hold myself anymore. I kissed her for the third time. All my sorrow and confusion faded away and all I knew was that I wanted her to be mine and only mine. After the kiss I embraced her and held her in my arms for a while. She's so cute. She mumbled that if this was a dream, that she would want to sleep forever. Her words touched me. I kissed her cheek and held her again, and for a moment I felt like I never wanted to let go. But there were things that had to be settled. I pulled away and dragged her home. _

_Now that I think about it, I forgot my umbrella. It must be somewhere outside. When we came home I immediately went straight to the point. I approached Kotoko's father and asked him if he would allow me to marry his daughter. Of course I surprised everyone, and they all freaked out. After I got permission and my mother wanted to get the camera, Kotoko fainted! Probably of the stress and confusion, that's so cute. _

_And just a moment ago I was standing outside my room with Kotoko. She had recovered and we were ready to go to bed. She was standing there so shy and said nothing, and to be honest I felt a kinda shy too. So I said good night and wanted to leave to my room (I really wanted to write everything that had happened down). But she stopped me, and asked if I was sure that I wanted to marry her. She's so insecure! And I finally said it, I hadn't said the words before, but I said I loved her, and embraced her. _

_Her small body fits perfectly in my arms, it's such a nice feeling to embrace her. For a moment this question came up. Why do I love her? Hmm I love how she's so loud and outgoing, yet she can be so shy when I get serious. I love how she can be so annoying but how it's cute at the same time. I love how she can make me angry and drive me crazy about her at the same time. I love how she's clumsy and funny, and makes me laugh inside while I'm scolding her. I love how she's so sensitive and cries about even little things. I love how she's this crazy about me despite the way I treated her. And I love how I can go on and on about her but actually want to stop. _

_Hmm actually I disgust myself at the moment. I just can't stop writing about Kotoko. I hope one day it'll be easier for me to express my feelings openly, and not only in my diary. Well I'm off to bed now, the first night I'll fall in sleep without worry, since weeks._

_Naoki_

* * *

"Irie-kun…" Kotoko embraced the diary once again. He loved her, he really loved her back then already. Even though he had told her, reading this made her speechless. Then her own voice sounded through her head.

_"Then WHY? Naoki? __Why__ do you love me?" _Again tears streamed down her face. She wanted to see him. There was written more on the next page, but her patience was gone. She would read that part later. "I'll be back to get my stuff later Chris, please keep the diary away from Kinnosuke!" Kotoko said as she ran towards the door and put on her shoes.

"Y-yes!" Chris answered but Kotoko was already outside. As Kotoko was running home, the words Naoki had written kept echoing through her head. She couldn't wait to see him!


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Hey everyone! I regret to announce the FINAL chapter for this story! I really enjoyed writing this, but it just has to end now ^_^ Currently I don't have any new ideas for a next Kotoko x Naoki story, even though I love writing them :) If anyone has suggestions don't hesitate to tell them ^^ I hope you'll enjoy my last chapter and support me all the way! Thanks for the wonderful reviews :)**

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"Onii-chan, please eat something!" Naoki ignored his mother. Giving Kotoko his diary was a big decision, would it change her mind? It sure would, she loved him, but now she's pregnant, he didn't know for how long she could stay away. He did know he missed her, and didn't want anything else than for her to –

"It's the door! I heard the door! Onii-chan!" Naoki was at the door faster than his mother. And when he opened it, before he could even say anything or study her, Kotoko had thrown her arms around his neck. "I'm s-sorry Irie-kun! I'm sorry and I love you so much, I missed you I'm so sorry!" She cried. She was wet from the rain and out of breath from running.

First Naoki stood there, frozen solid. He slowly bent down (so that her feet could reach the ground) and he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too, I missed you so much…" He whispered. "I-Irie-kun.." "Please let me stay like this for a while.." Naoki whispered as he held her tight against him. "Never leave me anymore" Kotoko sobbed and closed her eyes. There she was in his arms in the pouring rain. It felt like years ago. When he finally admitted he loved her. "Déjà vu..." Kotoko whispered. "Hm what? " Naoki asked as he pulled away. "No it's nothing" Kotoko giggled as she wiped away her tears and smiled.

"Come on, let's go in, you'll catch a cold" Naoki dragged her inside the house, where a sobbing mrs. Irie was waiting for them. "Kotoko-chan!" She threw her arms around Kotoko and hugged her tight. "Welcome back Kotoko-chan!" "Thanks oba-chan!" They pulled away and Kotoko greeted the others. But while she did so she just couldn't keep her eyes off her husband. He looked at her with such warm eyes. He really had changed compared with how he was in the past.

Naoki lead her upstairs and got a towel. "I'm sorry I doubted you, Irie-kun" Kotoko said softly as Naoki rubbed her shoulders and head with the towel. "It's okay, love makes us do crazy things sometimes" He replied, and Kotoko smiled. Naoki caressed her cheek and wiped away her last tears, then he leant in and kissed her. Kotoko passionately answered the kiss as she stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. God what had she missed him. While still kissing her Naoki slowly lifted her in bridal style and placed her on the bed.

Even though they made out a lot in their married life, Naoki's passionate actions still surprised Kotoko now and then. They stopped kissing and looked at each other, still panting though.

"So, what do you think of my diary?" Naoki asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I'm speechless" Kotoko answered with a warm smile. "I thought so" Naoki whispered before he kissed her again. Kotoko ran her hands through his hair and moaned when Naoki's fingers reached a sensitive spot on her back. He first continued to tease her a little and then he smiled playfully. "Oh I almost forgot, maybe I should punish you for suspecting me?" He said with a mischievous smile, and Kotoko squealed when he gave her side a squeeze. "No hehe that's not necessary" She giggled, but Naoki's hand reached under her shirt and started to tease her sides.

"No stop that! Haha Irie-kun, it tickles haha!" Kotoko squirmed and he finally stopped. "How's the baby?" He asked. "It's fine I guess, I …" Kotoko suddenly twitched and looked down. "Oh.. I think it moved! I felt the baby move!" She said with a wide smile at Naoki. "Really? That's great!" Naoki said and he placed his hand on her belly. "I can't believe we'll be parents soon" Kotoko said. "Me neither" Naoki said, and he lifted her chin and kissed her again. Kotoko closed her eyes as Naoki moved down and planted soft kisses on her neck.

When she opened her eyes and turned her head a little she almost jumped in shock. Yuuki was peeking inside. "H-h-h-how long have you been there!" She yelled with a high-pitched voice, and Naoki did jump in surprise. "Yuuki!" He barked with a red face. "Mom wants you two to come down" Was the only thing he said before he left again. There was a moment of silence. "That was pretty embarrassing" Kotoko said calmly. "Yeah…"

"What do you want?" Naoki asked as he and Kotoko came downstairs. "Onii-chan, Kotoko-chan, look!" They looked at the screen and stiffened. The old video was playing on the tv. They remembered mrs. Irie used to film when they were young. And now they were watching it after a really long time. "Take a seat!" They sat down and watched. There were lots of scenes filmed. Like Naoki carrying Kotoko at the sports festival, graduation day, Christmas eve, their birthdays, their marriage, even their honeymoon.

While them kissing at the beach on their honeymoon was shown they both glared at mrs. Irie. "Hehehe!" She laughed. "So she _was_ spying on us" Kotoko said with a twitching eyebrow. Kotoko sighed a dreamy sigh as she leant back and felt Naoki's arm around her. She loved him even more than in their high school years. She gazed up at him and he gave her a little smile. And she knew that the warm look in his eyes was telling her that he loved her.

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_**Naoki's diary encore!** _

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_It's been a long time since I last wrote. And probably.. this will be the last time I'm writing in this diary. Kotoko and I are married now. Yeah I know it's fast, but my mother rushed things, and it came to this. _

_Hmm it wasn't very nice of me but I wasn't in the best mood on our wedding day. I felt so.. uncomfortable. Everyone was looking at us, talking about us. If I could choose myself I would have married her in silence. Just the two of us and maybe some family. But well it went like this. But.. Kotoko looked stunning in her dress. The shy smile she gave me when she was approaching me, holding her fathers' arm... She never looked more beautiful. I'll always remember that smile. _

_During our wedding Kotoko mentioned that she knew about the second kiss. Yuuki told her about Romance Village! That's so embarrassing. But after that she kissed me so passionately, that I was just too frozen to do anything back. It was the first time I actually received a kiss from her. And then everything became worse. My pictures of my childhood were being shown to everyone on a big screen. How could they do that to me! Eventually I was in such a bad mood, that you can see my grumpy face on our wedding picture. Ah well, I was glad when it was over. _

_My mother, yeah my mother, had already planned our honeymoon, so I'll tell about that next. Kotoko and I were going to Hawaii. And of course it wasn't just a relaxing honeymoon. Actually it's a whole story… We met this other couple, Horiuchi Mari and her husband Takumi. A rather troublesome couple, this Mari looked like she was interested in me, even though she was married. _

_And I've felt dumb for the first time. Of course I knew Kotoko was jealous when Mari was clinging onto me the whole time. But she was also worried, I hurt her on our honeymoon. But that's what came later. First Kotoko mentioned that we hadn't had time together, just the two of us, at all! And she was right, so I told her we would. But then Mari came interrupting again. It seemed she was in real pain, and I fell for it. But eventually it was just an act! When I was helping her I had to touch her stomach to see where it hurt, and Kotoko got so jealous that she screamed I shouldn't touch other women. And now I was pretty selfish myself too, I didn't think about her feelings at all but just about that single thing she said. And I yelled that if she didn't want me to touch other women, she shouldn't have married a doctor. Kotoko ran away crying and Takumi was getting some medicine. _

_When I was alone with Mari, she suddenly seemed okay and she tried to flirt with me. That's when I got angry and rejected her. When I was looking for Kotoko I felt panic. Kotoko is so defenseless, anyone could take advantage of her. I felt so relieved when I heard her high pitched voice screaming for help. It seemed she mistook a police man for a lecher or murderer or something. She was crying and screaming for my name, what a dummy she is. _

_We walked together and it was an awkward moment. We didn't say anything, both of us. Until we reached the beach. Kotoko started to apologize, and she was so sad, so I made clear I wasn't angry anymore and kissed her. After the kiss the sphere was a lot better. We went back to the hotel.. and we had our first night together. Hmm I will not explain the details, but I never would have expected I'd be doing.. things.. at this age.. with Kotoko.. Hmm I can't help but blush when I think back of it so I won't write about it… it's embarrassing._

_Back at home we saw that my mother had moved Kotoko's things into my room so that Yuuki could sleep in his own room again. So from now on I'll share a room and a bed with Kotoko. That's why this'll be the last time I'm writing because Kotoko might catch me. She's drinking with her friends at the moment to celebrate her marriage with me, so this is my chance to write all this. So well, goodbye diary, thanks for taking care of my feelings, writing everything down was a good thing for me. _

_Naoki_

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Kotoko giggled as she read the last page and closed the book. She opened it again and leafed through it, not all pages were full. The last couple of pages were still empty. She quickly scribbled a little message down on the next page and closed the diary again. "I'm finished! Chris, thank you so much for taking care of me" Kotoko said as she put the diary in her bag with her other stuff.

"No problem Kotoko, you know that you're always welcome here" Chris replied, and she patted Kotoko's shoulder. She opened the door and Kotoko stepped out of the house. "Take care!" "I will, see you soon!" Kotoko felt her smile of happiness sticking on her face. She just couldn't help but smile. Naoki loved her. And soon she would give birth to their child!

"I'm home!" Kotoko looked around but received no answer. "Hello? Anyone here?" She saw Naoki coming downstairs. "Welcome home, the others are out for a moment" Naoki said and he kissed his wife. "Oh really, I see" Kotoko put her bag on the floor and handed him his diary. "Thanks for sharing your feelings with me, Naoki!" She said cheerfully, and Naoki blushed because she called him by his first name. "N-no problem" He mumbled as he took his diary back. Kotoko giggled and went upstairs to put back her stuff. Naoki followed and put his diary back between the other books. Kotoko wrapped her arms around him from behind and held him tight.

First Naoki let her, but then he turned around, held her by her shoulders and kissed her. Even in his younger stubborn years, he found her soft lips addictive. Now even more. He lifted her and held her in a passionate embrace while they moved towards the bed. He placed her on the bed and climbed on top of her.

"Heh Irie-kun, you were acting all cool when you were in high school, but actually you weren't! You were just head over heels for a girl like me!" Kotoko said playfully when they stopped kissing. "You little!" He didn't plan to but as a reflex his hands shot towards her sides and tickled her softly but enough to make her laugh and squeal.

"Hehehe don't! S-stop!" She squirmed and struggled to no avail. After a few minutes of wrestling and playing he stopped tickling her and laughed. "Hmm maybe you're right" He said with a smirk. "E-eh?" Kotoko didn't expect that answer. And before she could say anything his lips were on hers again.

[and then they did things I'm not gonna describe out here :x ]

Naoki sat up and looked at the clock. Past midnight. The others still weren't back, they were probably having a lot of fun. He looked at Kotoko who was sleeping next to him. He caressed her cheek softly, and gazed at the bookcase. He stepped out of bed and took his diary out of the case. He sat down at his desk and took a pen. He opened his diary and blinked in surprise.

_Irie-kun, know that I'll love you and never leave you till the day I die!_

_Kotoko_

He smirked. A small but strong message.

* * *

_This is Naoki, 10 years later. Kotoko is pregnant, and she just returned from Chris. Kotoko suspected me of having an affair with another woman, but of course I would never do such thing. The past few days were horrible since Kotoko was taking it this seriously that she left me and stayed with Chris. _

_Because when she confronted me about it, I couldn't answer properly when she asked me why I loved her. As a response I gave her my diary and let her read it. Now she really really knows me. Hmm maybe this won't be my last message in here, who knows, there might happen interesting things that just need to be written down._

_Naoki_

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**THE END**


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